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July 2nd, 2009

I was sitting watching TV and working with Photoshop on the computer when the phone started ringing. It was almost 9:00 so I looked up to see what the caller ID showed. It was Uncle Lee; well he is actually dad’s uncle however only about five years older than he is. As far back as I can remember Lee lived outside the state, from Colorado to California to Oregon, so we only saw or heard from him a few times per year.

Since grandpa passed away Lee hadn’t called as often as he used to so it was a surprise to talk to him. Anyhow, he wanted to talk to dad, so I went and got dad to pick up the other phone. He was on the phone for about a half hour and I knew it was bad news when he came down the hall. Aunt Patti had recently passed away from cancer of all things. I say that only because they both retired from Rocky Flats, a government contracted site that was shut-down by the EPA when their new parking lot set the Geiger Counters off the charts.

I searched the Internet looking for an Obituary but did not find one. About the only good side to all of this is that since being diagnosed with the end stage renal disease I figured that I would be the next member of the family to pass away. Aunt Patti proved me wrong…

June 15th, 2008







June 1st, 2008

Double Whammy


I learned some interesting things over the last few days that possibly explains not only my medical conditions but also my brothers, mothers, grandfathers, and aunts.


August 24th, 2007

Long road ahead

Well I just got back from the Kidney specialist and I don’t really know anything more than I did this morning. From what he could tell from the initial tests there are a few possible causes for my current condition.

First, the reduced kidney function could just be from scar tissue on the kidneys from the Lupus and the paralysis over the years. If this is the case nothing can really be done other than possible future dialysis or transplant, which I will not take someone else’s chance at living a normal life, considering the new kidneys would be destroyed eventually anyway.

Or it could just be the fact that heredity is catching up. My grandfather passed away after several years of dialysis after his kidneys quit working. If this is the case then there may be a chance to stop the problem before it gets worse. But once the kidneys get the scar tissue, there is nothing that can be done to reverse the damage.

With the clot in my legs, and the recent prescription of blood thinners it makes a biopsy a bit more difficult. They would need to admit me for about a week and switch me over to Heparin, then stop that long enough to operate, then back on the Heparin, switch back to the Coumadin and then finally home. But he also said that this may not show anything, if it is just damage from the paralysis and Lupus. Now I am in a bit of a bind. Since just starting the new job I don’t qualify for either short or long term disability. Plus the fact that they may not approve my medical occurrence, since I would need to take more time off so soon for the remaining tests. Looks like I get to take another swing at the government to see what options I have as far as SSDI or something similar.

But I am getting ahead of myself a bit, have to wait and see what the next set of tests show. I go in for an ultrasound on my kidneys and some more lab work in two weeks, the doctor wants to make sure there is a short gap to judge the results on.

I will keep everyone informed as I find out more information…

January 10th, 2007


As I awoke this morning... You entered my thoughts... Before I opened my eyes... I knew " I WAS ALONE"... Still I could feel your presence... Smell your sensuality... Almost touch you... The softness of your Arua... The passion of your eyes... Gripping my mind and dreams... I lay open and breathing... I surrendered with closed eyes... I hear the the " WHISPERS" I may someday never wake..... As I am " ALONE WITHOUT YOU" 

-- no I didn't write it, read it this morning and it fit...

December 27th, 2006

Year-end summary


I haven't posted anything in a while now, I guess I must not have had too much to say, but I figured it was time for an update.

Christmas was okay, spoiled the hell out of my niece as usual, plus did actually get 2 gifts.  Nothing too extravagant, a C5 throw blanket from the Johnson Clan and a hat from Barnes, guess he must have noticed the receding hairline, who knows.

On a lighter note the doctors have finally put a name to my newest condition, well not new, been going on for quite some time now.  I figured it was just the normal winter blues that hits me hardest around the holidays.  This year it had gotten worse than usual, with everything that has occurred in the last year there had to be somewhat of an effect.  Some doors were reopened that probably should have been dealt with long ago, regaining some old friends and losing one all over again.  I never would have dreamed that PTSD could have this great of an impact.

Now that the year is winding down perhaps I can shake the feeling of being a disappointment to my family and friends.  I know I am not a complete failure I'm still here, still fighting my way back to the surface.

I hope that 2007 is better for everyone...

August 4th, 2006

119 to go...

I finally reached the required hours to reclaim my FMLA, now I only need to receive the paperwork and submit it. Not a moment too late I might add, cause today I feel like I have been ran over by a truck. I guess we are getting into flu season, who knows...

That's about all that has been going on here, hope everyone else if doing okay.


July 20th, 2006

* New Wheels *

Now all I have to do is figure out a place to park the damn thing, that is if I decide to put the work into it.

Tuesday I went down to the shop to see the fire-bird that B-bo and his buddy Jerry (not Barnes) went to San Diego over the weekend to pick up. Formula fire-bird, 79 miles, and pretty much completely destroyed. But Jerry is going to drop the drive-train in his 69 fire-bird, going to be sweet. Anyway I asked B-bo about the Olds that has been parked in the middle of the shop since they moved. He had bought it from Houge, and now is selling it. It isn't a MC, but it runs, and the price is right.

So I may be the owner of a 73 Cutlass here pretty soon. If I can talk mom & dad into a loan, or maybe Grandma. Her house is all but sold, as soon as the papers go through...

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